I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
"Curry muncher!"
Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
