What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
