What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.
The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.
Also dwarf: can’t see.
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
