Sport jokes
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What's a rapper's favorite sport?
Rhyme racing.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"
"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute!"
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
Why don't rappers ever play baseball?
Because they're too busy dropping hits!
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.