Sport jokes

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.

Air.

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

Why did the football player go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?

Tragic Johnson.

What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?

Ice Cube.

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

Why was the rapper bad at basketball?

He could only dribble rhymes.

What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?

Shakespeare.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

What's a rapper's favorite sport?

Rhyme racing.