World Record jokes

My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.

The librarian then asked me to take it out.

My cock was in the book of world records...

The librarian told me to take it out.

My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.

What world record did the people in 9/11 get?

The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

Who are the fastest readers? The victims of 9/11. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.