World Record jokes

My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

What world record did the people in 9/11 get?

The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.

My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.

The librarian then asked me to take it out.

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.

My cock was in the book of world records...

The librarian told me to take it out.

My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?