Speed jokes

what is the fastest country? iran.

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.

Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.

Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?

Because they don't have them on the inside.

what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.

Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.

My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.

Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

What food does a cheetah eat?

Fast food.

Candy is dandy.

But liquor is quicker.

What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?

Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.

Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"

What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers? A virgin.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck if my computer crashes.

I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.