Speed jokes
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
Why was the rapper always in a rush?
Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?
Cheetah outta here!
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
Why does a cheetah cheat to always win?