Speed jokes
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!