Speed jokes
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Speed.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Why did Naruto run fast?
Because he tried to get away from himself.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.