I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Speed.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
