Speed jokes
Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?
Because her wheelchair was good.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂