Space jokes
What does NASA stand for? 🍝🧇🍝🧇🍝
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
What is big, round, and gassy? Uranus.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!