Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Son Jokes
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Steve Kerr really named his son Nick.
Sorry, no adults allowed.
Only 3 per person.
RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
