Someone's jokes
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
Why do orphans want to be gay?
Because they will have someone to call "daddy" for once.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!