Someone's jokes

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?

“My Mommy Comes Back”

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

Why do orphans want to be gay?

Because they will have someone to call "daddy" for once.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

Why do orphans love role-plays?

Because they can call someone "daddy."

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.

Please don't get mad, it's a joke.

What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.

Why do orphans have sex?

To call someone "daddy"!

Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?

He thinks she should stand up for herself.

How do you know someone is fucking dumb?

They put jokes that have been used several times already.

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?