Society jokes
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.
I met a homeless guy named Rich.
He wasn't.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society.
What do you call a Chinese person with 1 leg? Tie Son Whu.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?
Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"