Society jokes
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
Yo mama is so poor, she asked a homeless guy for money.
I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.
I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."