Society jokes
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because he didn’t know where home was.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Why is suicide illegal?
Because it destroys government property.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!
Twin Towers are like genders, there used to be 2.
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?
He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.