Society Jokes

What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?

They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"

What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?

"It is ok, I forgive you."

What do you call an orphan?

A bootysnagger45.

Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?

Because they have no family.

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.

A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”

LGBTQ = LeBron giving back to qommunities (communities).

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.

A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.

"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"

"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.

"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"

"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.

"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."

I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

What do Chinese parents hate the most?

A newborn daughter...

Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.

Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*

No phobia lasts forever 👌😂

What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?

They fight and... You know the rest.

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.

Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”

Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”