There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"
Society Jokes
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best cum.
Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?
He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.
How are genders different than the Twin Towers?
There are two genders.
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
There's only one gender. Women are property.
Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.
On a desk in pure isolation.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
