Society

Society jokes

Church

One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.

His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.

The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”

“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”

Parachute

There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"

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  • Abortion

    Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

    Because dead babies make the best cum.

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  • Snack Bar

    Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?

    He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.

    Stereotype

    A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."

    Orphan

    What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

    The apple gets picked.

    Prostitution

    What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?

    The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.

    Orphan

    You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

    What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    Orphan

    Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

    Orphan: What! No! Please no!

    Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!

    Cannibal

    What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.

    Sex

    Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.

    On a desk in pure isolation.

    Autism

    If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?

    Jesus

    Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.