Society jokes
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
There's a sexy milf that lives next door. The only thing better is her 8 Y/O.
There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"
You can say what you want about deaf people...
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
Yo mama is so poor, she asked a homeless guy for money.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."
Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.