Society jokes

Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!

Why do orphans always get picked on?

They can't run and tell their parents.

We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.

Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?

A. The baby girl.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?

There isn't one; they are both the same thing.

What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?

He raped her.

A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.

A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.

"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"

"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.

"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"

"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.

"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."

Two pedos are on the beach.

One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"

What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?

A bath bomb.

(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!

What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.

So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).

What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.

What is one word orphans can't spell?

Family.

What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.