Society jokes

If you are homeless, get a home.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

What do apples and orphans have in common?

The apple gets picked.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.

If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?

A pedo-file.

Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims.

The only hood I like is pointy and white.

That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.

A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."

Indian? Did or feather?

Q: What happens when emos make out?

A: They don't; they just hang out.

Sonic says, "Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

What are American schools?

Shooting ranges.

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer; the other one is just an orphan.

What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.

An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"