Social Interaction jokes

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

6 hours later

Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"

So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.

Why did Sally fall out of the swing?

She had no arms.

Why couldn’t she get up?

Because she had no friends.

Give a like if I have no friends.

A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"

The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...

...but it left him hanging.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Stop.

Stop who?

Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"

"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.

My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.