Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀
I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.
I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Hi, I'm new.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
@ the N-word of your dreams, why you not say nun on the fuckin community? You should talk on ther my g.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
Why can’t you private text someone in a community?
Because a community has more than two people.
