Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀
Hi, I'm new.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
