Skill

Skill jokes

Dog

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

Drive

They said I couldn't drive.

Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.

Stepfather

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your new stepfather."

Microwave

Me: I know how to use a microwave!

Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!

True story.

Memes

Difference

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Day

Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

Falco: Wat...

Programmer

One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."

Type

What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!

Hand Job

"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."