Size jokes

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger before my eyes.

Then it hit me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?

God: (creating elephants) Make it big.

Angel: How big?

God: As big as my d--

Angel: Whoa!

God: Fine, 10 feet tall.

Angel: That's big bu--

God: Put a long thing on its face.

What's 10 inches and makes women scream?

Cot death!

Kasper has a tiny penis.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.

I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!

Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"

What do you call the midget sea?

A pond.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?

A: Her dead fetus.

What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?

90% of America's population.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.