Size jokes
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.
Kyle's penis is small.
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
The bigger your shoe size is, the bigger your penis is.
The smaller your shoe size, the smaller your penis is.
Yo mama so fat, she is fat!
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!