Situation jokes

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.

Hey ummm help!

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?

They wanted some family time.

When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.

Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.

Orphan: Realizes.

An assassin threatens a planet.

The planet remains calm.

The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"

Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."

And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.

What's red and sits in the corner?

A baby chewing on a razor blade.

What's green and sits in the corner?

Same baby, one week later.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."