Aloneness Jokes

Safris
in Orphan

What’s a orphans favorite movie

Home alone

Anonymous
in Teacher

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

The Special

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

Anonymous
in Priest

A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "

9
Plane

A Pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers, the passenger asks, “Why did you become a Pilot?” The Pilot replies with, “To face my fears.” The passenger then says “You’re afraid of heights?”. “No, i’m afraid of dying alone”.

Bashar Al Assad

A suicide bomber’s biggest fear is dying alone

in Depression

I won’t reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here… Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I’m being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don’t get enough sleep because of it… Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar

Anonymous

roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i’m always watching you

YYXYOddEyeCircle1/3

Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we’ll die.

We’re all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.

wwut

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex’s, so I was completely alone.

3
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
in Kidnapping

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.

Funny but sad.

I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you’ll love. anyway…

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said “sure just dont look up”. He looked up and said " woah what are those?". She replied " those are just headlights." He looked down and said “what is that?” She said that’s just a bush." The next day mommy wasnt home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said “okay but don’t look up.” He looked up and said “woah what is that?” His papa replied “that’s just a snake.” Later that night he asked to sleep with his parents. They said “okay just dont look under the covers.” After a while he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed “mom turn on the headlights the snake is in the Bush!!”

Anonymous
in Anti

What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.

5
Logan Paul

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. They boy turns to the man and says, “Hey mister its getting dark out, and I’m scared… Can we go back now?” So the man says: “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

0
Anonymous
in Depression

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it’s working, but it’s nice to know that I’m not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

Anonymous

So I heard Kenny’s mom got moved to a nursing home. He’ll probably leave her alone now. He doesn’t eat vegetables.

Anonymous

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, “I’m scared.”

The pedophile says, “You think you’re scared? I have to walk back alone!”

7

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”

ThePunniestBacon
in Puns

Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

Alexkila
in Emo

why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.