Short jokes
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
Why can't Asians do word searches?
They can't see the words.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
What is your body like? Soft.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
Like if you wanna have sex.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
Why can't you ever see an emo?
They're too high to see.
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.