Short jokes
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.