Short jokes
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Fight in the comments.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.