Short jokes
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.