Short jokes
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
Your dad's penis was chopped off at the age of 2.
I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
Like if you are straight; comment if you are LGBTQ+; dislike if you are a Nazi.