Short jokes
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
Little Herobrine, I'm cumming in ur mom! Call me Saddam Hussein cuz I'm dropping rap bombs!!
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.