Short jokes
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
What do cannibals read?
People.
Digest Readers.
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach