Short jokes
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
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What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
Wanna hear a joke...
I don't know, I'm too high.
What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?
"We are Pickle Ricks!"