Mitosis!!!!!! >:)
Short Jokes
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
F*ck you.
