Short jokes
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?
Palpatine: Slew it!
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld