Short jokes
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.