Short jokes

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?

“A sped runner.”

Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.

Dark humor and women are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?

Nothing.

How did I know where you would go next?

Oh, I felt it in my bones!

Why do Asians excel at math?

Because their dog can never eat their homework.

Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.

I would make a disabled joke.

But they never work.

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?

Chocolate arm.

9/11 is like genders.

There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.

"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."

Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She forgot to put her seatbelt on.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?

"Highway to Hell."

Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?

What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.