Short jokes
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
Big, ugly, and very weird.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.