Short jokes
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
A seal walks into a club.
Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?
You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?