Short jokes
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
The South.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
Heyyyy sistas!
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
Why didn’t the orphan celebrate their birthday?
Because they didn’t have a mom to birth them.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."