Short jokes
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it!
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!