Short jokes

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?

To get some plane bread.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!

Why don’t I like shafting?

It feels squishy.

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

What is cold and alone?

An orphan's parent.

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

Banana!

Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?

A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"

What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?

It left him hanging.

Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!