Short jokes

Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

What does a French guy say when he falls off?

Oh no, Eiffel!

I am your leader.

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

A genealogist looks at the family tree.

A gynecologist looks up the family bush.

Why can't orphans have cookies?

They are home made.

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

What did God say when he made the first woman?

"Where is your dick at?"

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.