Short jokes
IX + X = XXI. So XXI is two legions into one.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
Two sticks only make a fire.
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.