Short jokes
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! š¤¦
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
I don't know, I don't have one.
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Why canāt the emo play in trees? Theyāll leave āem hanging.
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
What did the creep do when the woman said, āMake yourself at home?ā
He hid in her attic.
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
Dentist: āThis will hurt a little.ā
Patient: āOK.ā
Dentist: āIām having an affair with your wife!ā
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?