Short jokes
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.