Short jokes
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.
12 months of training completely wasted.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
There are three Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
The cop!