Short jokes
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.