Short jokes
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.