Short jokes
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.