Short jokes
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.