Short jokes
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
What's more stupid than rapper and booty jokes?
NOTHING!
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.