Short jokes
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
My anxiety has anxiety.
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.