Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Short Jokes
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Why donβt I like shafting?
It feels squishy.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! Itβs weird.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Ashten Parkes
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore β my face should be among them.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
