Short jokes
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
What does NASA stand for?
Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong.
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.