Short jokes
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
"Whole November month, sniper lessons available in Dallas U.S.?"
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.