Short jokes
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
"Knife to meet you all!"
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Wow, why so many of the same joke?
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D