Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
Short Jokes
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
