Short jokes

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?

What do you call a baby potato?

Small fry!

What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.

What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.

I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-BONE!

P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣

I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?

Because I am a bully!

"Ching Chong ling long suck my ding dong."

What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?

A water gun...

I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.

Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?

Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.

What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?

Dutch Boy.

People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

My favorite species is a cheetah because

Ima cheet-ah on the test.