Short jokes

What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."

123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!

How do you paint a wall red?

You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.

Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.

Which country is next to the USA? USB.

Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"

"My penis."

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.

Did you SEA what I did there?

GUY: Yes

Are you SHORE?

What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?

Bullying.

Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?

An Oreo.

Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?

What does Hellen Keller call her dog?

"NAUSHFBUYGWF"

What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?

Yours.

What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?

"I Truss-ted you!"

What's grey and can't fly?

A parking lot.

Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?

Circumference.

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.