Short jokes
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.
Mineta: ...go on...
Denki: Ochako's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it?
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: *cries T_T*
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
Orange you glad to see me?
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.