Short jokes
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!