Short jokes
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.