Short jokes

*bowl of dark grapes*

Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

Friend 2: Black? Good one.

Friend 1: 21 at a time.

What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.

If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?

Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?

The Milky Way!

What do mice eat for dinner?

Mac n Cheese.

Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.

When you get caught about to shoot up the school,

*slowly puts AR to chin*

Why did the skeleton go to jail?

Because he was bad to the bone!

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."

Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?

Little boys' pants are half off!

I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!

What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?

A KinderGarden.

When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.

Why did the plane cross the sky?

To hit the Twin Towers...

Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?

Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!

How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?

Fell out of the tree.