Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
Short Jokes
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
