Short jokes
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.