Short jokes
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.