Short jokes
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.