Short jokes

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.

Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

What do you call a tent for lesbians?

Finger Hut.

Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?

It’s called "Maybe Dick."

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

I think one of my dads might be gay.

What does Michael Joseph Jackson say when little boys walk away?

"Give in to me-hee-he!"

Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

What’s a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.