Short jokes
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
Earth is full. Go home!
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.