What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
Short Jokes
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
