Short jokes
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
"Another one bites the dust."
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.
I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World?
To free Willie.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!