When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Short Jokes
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
