Short jokes
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.