A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
Short Jokes
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
If a clown farted, would it smell funny?
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
