Short jokes
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
What is another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
Why is hangman always done in black ink?
To make it more realistic.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.