Short jokes
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
gae
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?
BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON
Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!
Your fat!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.