Short jokes
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Earth is full. Go home!
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
TommyInnit is a joke.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Damn Americans, they fucking suck at Clash Royale.