Short jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!