Short jokes
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
What is black and white?
Probably Mexican history.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!