Short jokes
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.