Short jokes
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.