Short jokes
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
What is a kid who loves school?
A smart kid.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
Warning! Cringe Alert!
What happens when you leave your phone at jail?
It becomes a cell phone.