Short jokes
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."
LOL
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.