Short jokes
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."