Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
Short Jokes
"Another one bites the dust."
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.
I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
