Short jokes

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

When you're sad, don't feel down about yourself. Break a leg, and you'll forget all about it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.

You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...

Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"

Japan: "We are the ammo."

Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.

What does a plug do when he's horny?

He jacks off!

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.

Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!

I hate stairs, they're always up to something.

I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?

A heartless killer.

Why do blondes wear tight skirts?

To keep their legs closed.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.

I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.