Short jokes
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Why did the butt fart?
Because they don't know the words.
Jas.
You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
Taylor.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"