Short jokes
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?