Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Short Jokes
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
A baby seal walked into a club.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
Your nan's bald.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
