I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
Short Jokes
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
