Short jokes

Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?

A: My sister.

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"

There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.

I'm not sure if you have any feelings because everything about you seems very dull.

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart. I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?

Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?

"Wrap it up!"

Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?

because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!

How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?

The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"

Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."

Guys, please stop making fake accounts of me. It's not funny, and it's disrespectful of you, ok, bitch?

Q: What are cheetahs?

A: The worst card players!