Short jokes
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.