Short jokes
I have a little John.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
Everyone put your age here.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
Have you played the game Imagine Dragons? Imagine draggin' deez nuts!