Short jokes
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
What do you call five Black people having sex?
Threesome.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."