Prick jokes

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

Why do bees sting?

Because they're pricks.

20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.

Many years of sex in the dark.

The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.

When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.

What do you call a gay cactus?

A "prick."

What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?

An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.

I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!

🌵funking prick!

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.