Prick jokes
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
🌵funking prick!
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."